By Janet D’Agostino MA, MSN, DM, RN, Clinical Supervisor
When you have experienced the loss of a loved one, any day can be a tough day, but the holidays are a whole season of days that span from Thanksgiving into the New Year.
We often have warm, fuzzy feelings and expectations of family togetherness, joy, and laughter, more so at this time of the year than any other. We have traditions surrounding this season, and ways of celebrating that may be unique to our families, and these traditions help to build bridges from one generation to the next.
We have all heard that the one constant in life is change, and this year has repeatedly proven this. This holiday season, we may be grieving the loss of a loved one, and we are now permanently faced with the disruptions to our family traditions and togetherness that we have enjoyed all our lives.
Life is never static despite our frequent feelings that things never change. Our health can change, our finances can change, children grow up and move away, job situations can change, and we get older and lose some interest and ability to do all the things we did when we were younger. New members may be joining our families through marriages and births, and sadly, loved ones depart this earth through death.
Coping with loss, no matter what kind, this holiday season sets the stage for new traditions and ways of doing things. In each stage of life, each new beginning and each loss demands its customs and rituals. Here are some general tips for handling this holiday season for all of us, especially if you are coping with the loss of a loved one:
- Set realistic expectations for yourself. Remind yourself that this year will be different and that you are doing your best.
- Try to stay connected to your loved ones in whatever ways are possible.
- Allow yourself time for solitude. Focus on your faith and spiritual beliefs and honor them through prayer, reading, music, and/or enjoying a worship service in person or online.
- Remind yourself that experiencing laughter and times of happiness during the holidays does not mean that you have forgotten your loved one and does not diminish your love for them.
- Share stories and memories of your loved one with others. This will allow them to comfort you and feel that they are helping in some small way.
- Get plenty of rest and care for your health by exercising. Avoid using alcohol to numb your pain.
- Remember that, like many things, the anticipation of a holiday you may dread is often much worse than the actual holiday itself.
The holidays are filled with sentiments of love, thankfulness, spiritual practices, and new beginnings – the gifts of yesterday blended with the blessings of today make meaning for tomorrow.
If you or someone you care about needs additional support to help cope, The Option Group is here to help. Don’t hesitate to contact our professional care management team for assistance.
About The Option Group: Founded in 2010, The Option Group’s compassionate team of experienced Certified Life Care Managers and Educational Advocates provides services for families, their loved ones, medical professionals, and professional family advisors in Maryland, Northern Virginia, Southern Pennsylvania, and Delaware. The firm understands the challenges of caring for individuals who need assistance throughout their lifespan due to aging, dementia, disability, or serious illness. Our skilled providers possess over 100 years of combined experience navigating the healthcare maze and accessing hundreds of resources. The Option Group helps families spend quality time with their loved ones, providing clear choices that lead to better care. For more information, visit www.theoptiongroup.net or call 410-667-0266 (MD) or 717-287-9900 / 610-885-8899/ 215-896-6756 (PA) or 302-858-6449 (DE). For Minor & Young Adult Life Care Management or Educational Services, call Mary Jo Siebert at 410-967-0122 or 443-318-4244.